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  • 2015 - A new beginning

    Dear Readers - Winter is a good time to reflect on what is important. 

    It is a time to wrap up warm and stay protected from the elements. A time to nourish ourselves so that we have strong immune systems to equip us.  Boundaries are like that too - they keep us protected and nourished, so we can deal with life's knocks.

    Look to which areas of your life you could wrap up safely, and the areas that need nourishing.  Take this winter to reflect on how you can re-start growing on a better foundation.

    If you have some issues which could benefit from a restart, focus on what you want; ask yourself: 'What is stopping me from getting it?'

I'm taking some time out...

I'm currently taking a break from mentoring while I work on nourishing my own roots and soil - I will be back when my soil is re-nourished! In the meanwhile, feel free read the articles on this site, and do follow me on Facebook!


Browse our articles...

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Autumn Clearing

Autumn Clearing Dear Readers - finally an updated front page...!  Summer has been a mad rush, with Ramadan fasting, holidays and the back-to-school flurry. My little one has started nursery, Alhamdolillah, so I am adjusting to having 3.5 hours to myself - I find myself thinking 'Now what?', and ...

05 November 14 Flavour of the Season Sara Malik

Mentoring throughout Ramadan and the Summer

Dear All, A quick notice to let you you know that I will be mentoring throughout Ramadan and the Summer Holidays, inshaAllah. For those of you who have weekly/fortnightly coaching sessions, please book yourself in advance, as the time-slots get taken up quite quickly.

12 June 14 Hello Sara Malik

The Dialects of Love Languages

Consciously Doing What Works While different experts have identified different broad categories of Love Languages (my favourite being the five explained by Dr Gary Chapman in his book The Five Love Languages), it is down to us to make our own, personal Love Language rules. As an example, you may n...

12 June 14 Giving Love Katie Holden

The Vulnerability of Love Languages

According to Dr Gary Chapman (Author of The Five Love Languages) there are five main Love Languages: Acts of service Gifts Physical touch Quality time Words of Affirmation Some people say there are more, others say less, and certainly there is a lot of overlap between them, but I believe t...

12 June 14 Giving Love Katie Holden

Online bookings are back on

Online bookings are back again, ladies!  Booking a mentoring session is always easier and simpler when its done with a few clicks! Please also checkout my updated mentoring sessions - I have introduced face-to-face Hypnosis sessions which are scheduled in the evenings and face-to-face 4-hour 'all d...

08 June 14 Hello Sara Malik - Admin

Sounds Amazing - Help Zainab to hear

Dear Readers.  I'm posting my Facebook post here... Please like, share and DONATE! Salams Folks! PLEASE SHARE ON YOUR TIMELINES! This is a plea from me, Sara Malik, for you to help my good friends, Sabin and Saqib Sakhie from Hounslow West. Their 4.5 year old daughter is deaf, guys. She cant he...

27 May 14 Giving Love Sara Malik

Tips on Getting Advice from Friends

(This is a re-write of the original article) After many years of seeking the advice of friends and family, I’ve made a rule to only go to people with a certain degree of experience and insight, people I can trust or people who’ve worked their way out of difficulties. Generally speaking I’ve found ...

19 May 14 Healing, Clearing, Growing, Knowing Katie Holden

Hypnosis Special Offer

Good news! I'm so excited to tell you that as from now and until further notice, I am offering Hypnosis Therapy for only £10 a session!!! Why hypnosis? How many times have you consciously decided to do something different, yet when it comes to the crunch you unconsciously fall in to your tried an...

10 May 14 Hello Sara Malik

I finished writing my course today

This morning, Alhamdolillah, I have finished writing the first draft of the Better Wedded Lives coursebook! I am ecstatic!  Mashallah, this is the bounty of my Lord.  I spent the last two weeks of the Easter break waking at 4am !!!!!!!!!EVERY DAY!!!!!!!!and working solidly till half 8 until my litt...

23 April 14 Leadership Sara Malik

Online Marriage Seminar

Dear Sara, As salam o alaikum.  Are you planning to host an online marriage seminar anytime soon?

02 April 14 Hello Sara Malik

Getting back into the swing of things

I attended an amazing meetup today and hopefully inspired them with the principles for Better Wedded Lives! Lovely ladies, young and old - although the older ladies made me feel quite inadequate...! It was lovely to hear everyone's feedback. I officially celebrated the end of the 11+ plus last nigh...

25 March 14 Monthly Tea & Chat Sara Malik

Bitter and burnt out on the weekend

Reality Check:When one feels bitter and resentful of others for 'taking it easy' on the weekend, when one is running around haggard... check to see whether one is not burnt out.  Has the weekend has been planned for, so it can run smoothly without having to go buy groceries to cook, and errands to r...

03 March 14 Boundaries Sara Malik

A time for new growth

A time for new growth Spring is whispering its way into our lives again!   It's a time to clear the garden once again, especially since we have had such stormy weather in the UK. Life is also like that; for those of us blessed to be blissful in their relationships, spring is a time to set new go...

21 February 14 Flavour of the Season Sara Malik

Show someone else that they are loved, too.

A lovely post by Time-Warp Wife; Giving love to others and not just keeping it all for yourself.   Post by Sara Malik.

18 February 14 Giving Love Sara Malik

Giving the gift of bread

Ever since I have had my breadmaker, I have always wanted to share the touching, smelling, experiencing fresh bread!  It is now one of my sacred passions!

17 February 14 Giving Love Sara Malik

HELP - I have so many negative thoughts.

Dear Sara.  I am in such a low place.  I cant move forward, as I am consumed with negative thoughts.  Is there anything I can do, is there any hope for me? Sincerely, Downin Thedumps

03 February 14 Healing, Clearing, Growing, Knowing Sara Malik

5 REASONS for being grateful in 2013

  Alhamdolillah!  This year starts off with becoming more organised with blogging, and also starting to re-write my mentoring material.  In doing so, I found out that I started blogging in January 2009, just after gaining freedom from my eldest son's 11+ preparation!  Times flies!  He's taking hi...

20 January 14 Gratitude & Receiving Love Sara Malik

Take-away - when it's his call

There was once a woman.... She spent the day out with her family, and planned to come home and get some take-away so the whole day would be one of relaxation and fun. When the family were back home, the husband umm-ed and ahh-ed about what to do for dinner. Should they get a take-away? Or should th...

06 January 14 Leadership Sara Malik

Nourishing the family with time-out

These holidays my hubby and I are really focusing on self-care.  As you know, we are working REALLY hard this time as we have LOTS of relaxing to do!  LOL.  Alhamdolillah, through the mercy and kindness of Allah, we are doing well and are on track!  This is Boot Camp Self Care!

30 December 13 Self Care Sara Malik

How do you do it?

We all know at least one of them... A perfect woman who somehow manages to: Work, study, cook every meal from scratch, keep a neat and clean house, get her children to school on time (with their homework completed), go to the gym to maintain her perfect figure, raise money for charity, sit on numer...

28 December 13 Leadership Katie Holden

Work VERY hard these holidays

Tending to your garden over the holidays is equally as important as at any other time..... Want to relax? Want to have fun? Want to enjoy yourself? Then read and follow these instructions with the greatest of care:

21 December 13 Leadership Sara Malik

When Queens Ride By, by Agnes Sligh Turnbull

Jennie Musgrave woke at the shrill rasp of the alarm clock as she always woke—with the shuddering start and a heavy realization that the brief respite of the night's oblivion was over. She had only time to glance through the dull light at the cluttered, dusty room, before John's voice was saying s...

20 December 13 Leadership Sara Malik

Seeing Allah seeing you

Sometimes you work so hard, you wonder why you're doing it.  And then you get some glittery flowers from your dear hubby, 'Just Because'.

19 December 13 Gratitude & Receiving Love Sara Malik

Enjoying Family Time

Enjoying Family Time: In the UK it's time for the Christmas holidays, and although as a Muslim family we don't celebrate the Christmas festival, it is an extra-special time for us as it is the only time of the whole year that my dear husband is home for two whole weeks, Praise be to Allah! It is...

18 December 13 Flavour of the Season Sara Malik

The Inner Clearing Process

Inner Clearing A goodly word is a goodly tree, whose root is firmly fixed.(Quran: 14:24) Unearth Your Values Remove the weeds 1Identify the negative belief, feeling or behaviour. 2Ask yourself the magic question: ‘What do I want instead?’

14 December 13 Inner Clearing Sara Malik - Admin

I can't talk to him - Noor

'To feel secure with my feelings, and safe with my husband We are both on the same team To feel respected To have a conversation at a mutually convenient time To be open and trusting of one another' Inner Clearing on "I cant have a constructive conversation with my husband.  He is so suspicious...

13 December 13 Nourishing Values Sara Malik - Admin

An example of Inner Clearing

When we feel bad or behave in ways that make us shudder, we are often doing it because a dearly-held value is being violated. This is explained neatly with the NLP presupposition that all behaviour -- no matter how awful -- has a positive intention. This doesn’t mean that awful behaviour is accept...

13 December 13 Inner Clearing Sara Malik - Admin

My sister has stopped phoning - Asiya

'I am at peace with the unsafe behaviour of those who do not accept my boundaries. I protect myself and keep my family and myself safe from their harm.' Inner Clearing on "My sister has stopped phoning me completely because I asked her to phone before coming round.  She is hurting me... I am hur...

13 December 13 Nourishing Values Sara Malik - Admin

What Is Inner Clearing?

Negative beliefs and unwanted behaviours pollute our souls.  They get in the way of our desired goals, promote even more unwanted behaviour, and stop us from behaving how we truly want to. Using the metaphor of the Inner Garden, these same negative beliefs and unwanted behaviours pollute our ...

10 December 13 Inner Clearing Sara Malik - Admin

My body, my teacher

I was talking to a poorly friend the other day and was reminded of the poem I wrote a few years ago where the different parts of my body were talking to my Self and giving it a good telling off for the abuse that I was putting my body parts under. Which reminded me of the post I have been meaning to...

02 December 13 Boundaries Sara Malik

Nourishing Your Inner Garden

I've been asked to speak at The High Tea For Charity this Saturday at the Double Tree Hilton, and of course, I will be talking about Garden Work©, InshaAllah. I love this time of the year, as I get to buy lovely red Poinsettias.  For me this plant is significant as it reminds me that certain enjo...

26 November 13 The Inner Garden Sara Malik

Taking it slowly

I'm one of those people who always rush, and I don't like that about myself.  I'm not a nice person when I'm rushing.  I'm impatient and snappy. On edge. I want to change. Reading this beautiful letter on Facebook, I realised how we can hurt our elders with our impatience.  I'm posting it here in ...

26 November 13 Parenting Sara Malik

Avocados Super Food

I'm a newly converted big fan of avocados!  I didn't realise how super they were, and also a top weight-loss food, until I started reading The Perfect 10 Diet by Michael Aziz.  So after being inspired by Nigella Lawson, I have started drinking banana and avocado smoothies for breakfast and it make...

25 November 13 Self Care Sara Malik

I must write.

Dear Readers, Every day I face a dilemma which I must address.  I have a dream. I want to write my book.  When will it happen?  Every day my fingers itch towards the power button of the computer.  Every day I ponder on the progress of my web designer who needs to fix my niggles of a no-comment ...

25 November 13 Self Care Sara Malik

Triangle of Love

Click HERE for a lovely and informative article about the Triangle of Love. The Triangle of Love represents three aspects of good, strong, marriages: Passion, intimacy and commitment.

11 November 13 Leadership Katie Holden

DOWNLOAD Inner Clearing Printable

Download the Inner Clearing Printable, and start weeding out those negative beliefs!

14 October 13 Inner Clearing Sara Malik - Admin

DOWNLOAD Inner Clearing Printable with Example

Here is an example of how to use the Inner Clearing printable.  Hope you find it useful!

14 October 13 Inner Clearing Sara Malik - Admin

Goodbye Grit

My Time Of Grit has ended. InshaAllah, I return back to some normality....    Of waking up with the promise of no more hours of eleven plus coaching... Of knowing I can wake up early and not run out of energy half way through the day because there is just Too Much To Do Today.... Of spending the...

12 October 13 Self Care Sara Malik

NOT giving a gift...

"Feeling gratitude and not expressing it, is like wrapping a present and not giving it" William Arthur Ward   It is so easy to overlook the small things our husbands do for us, or to let days go by without acknowledging them with so much as a smile or a "thank you". Take time today to feel and exp...

10 October 13 Gratitude & Receiving Love Katie Holden

Unsafe Behaviour

When mentoring and coaching, one of the things I encourage ladies to do is to recognise when they are presented with unsafe behaviour and to see it for what it is: unsafe.  Once ladies start to see the behaviour as unsafe and inappropriate, they can then speak out against it. It's surprising how muc...

06 October 13 Flavour of the Season Sara Malik - Admin

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