Sometimes I get caught in a cycle of negative thoughts (it’s a huge flaw, I know this) I remember one bad thing, then the next, then the next etc. During or after this vicious thought circle, it is harder than ever to be surrendered, fascinating or even nice.
I have found the solution is to remember one of the times in my marriage when I was completely happy. My personal ‘perfect memory’ is walking with my husband towards a bridge in a wood, some of our children have run ahead of us to play ‘nomads’ and I am talking and pushing a buggy. I picture the dark green trees ahead of us, the sound of my voice (this is my ‘perfect moment’ not his!) and the wheels of the buggy on the path, I can also hear the gurgling of running water in a stream, the feel of the cold air against my face and I am wearing warm gloves, the contentment of us all being together and all happy, the air smells cold and of pine trees.
Look for your own perfect memory. Bring all your senses into play – what could you see, what sensations did you feel, were any smells or tastes especially alive for you and what sounds can you remember?
When things feel tough, go back to this memory. It should bring a smile to your face and make surrendering and fascinating come naturally.