Greetings of peace and happiness! I am really happy to share that we have completed all the familiarization we needed to do for my son’s third son’s 11+. MashaAllah and Alhamdolillah! Which means that I am learning how to breathe again. Yes, I think I really did forget. So to celebrate, I went for a massage, got an ipad mini from my husband (my first Apple product – I LOVE IT!) and then I went for away for the weekend for some hypnosis training at my cherished training center, New Oceans NLP. Then comes the 11+ at the beginning of October, then comes Eid, and the cheery cherry on the cake is to go away for the weekend on a spiritual retreat at then end of October. InshaAllah, what a great way to end 5 years of 11+ training for three children.
Going back to New Oceans made me realise how safe I felt there, amongst like minded people (and some dear unexpected friends who were also doing their masters). To allow yourself to go into a trance at the hands of someone else has never been a comfortable thing for me, but with some close friends there too, this time I felt incredibly safe. (thanks dear friends!). We practiced Rapid Hypnosis – check this out: ‘In a moment I will ask you to press down hard on my hand, and then I will move my hand away and tell you to sleep – and you will go in to a deep trance.’ – it was a real case of ‘if I fall, will you catch me?’. And my friends caught me, and kept me safe.
Back home, I am reflecting today on how important it is that we protect ourselves from unsafe and manipulative people. And how I am surrendering to the fact that I cant control people who manipulate me. How often have we felt like someone pulled the rug from underneath us, when we realise that they lied to us, flattered us to get their way, made it look like what we were saying wasn’t what we were really feeling? How many times have our needs been discounted? How vulnerable does that leave us?
My sombre but highly enlightening reading list for the last few months:
In Sheep’s Clothing
Loving Him without Losing You
Men Who Hate Women & The Women Who Love Them
I have found first hand (blush) that throwing a wobbly and demanding that the manipulative person stops their unhealthy behaviour doesn’t work. All we can do is to ensure that we uphold our own boundaries and make sure that we don’t get hurt when the shards of manipulation go flying.
To uphold & to protect.
And you might be surprised to find, just as I was, that once you start to see manipulative people for what they are doing, and see them for who they are – wounded souls, just like us, you might even find yourself feeling pity on them. Instead of feeling fear, confusion or even repulsion.
But there’s still no need to allow them to hurt you. Is there?
If you have a manipulate or unsafe person in your life: when they strike – take cover, and stay safe, wont you?