Wisdom Gallery


Wisdom

Seeing Allah seeing you

Seeing Allah seeing you

Sometimes you work so hard, you wonder why you’re doing it.  And then you get some glittery flowers from your dear hubby, ‘Just Because’. And then you know that you are being seen. And you are being acknowledged. And they do see what you do. […]

Help – I have so many negative thoughts.

Help – I have so many negative thoughts.

Dear Sara. I am in such a low place.  I cant move forward, as I am consumed with negative thoughts.  Is there anything I can do, is there any hope for me? Sincerely, Downin Thedumps Dear Downin Thedumps I’m so sorry to read that you […]

Love Love Love

Love Love Love

In my journey through the world of self-help books I came across a scientist who took a glass of water and said “love, love, love” into it. He then watered a cohort of cress seeds with it. At the same time he took a glass […]

Powerful Prayers

Powerful Prayers

Surrender to Allah Allah is enough for me, there is no god but him, I have put my trust in him and he is the lord of the mighty throne (9:129) Allah is enough for us and the best of guardians. (3:173) Lo, in the […]

When queens ride by

When queens ride by

By Agnes Slight Turnball, 1888. Jennie Musgrave woke at the shrill rasp of the alarm clock as she always woke—with the shuddering start and a heavy realization that the brief respite of the night’s oblivion was over. She had only time to glance through the […]

Admit when things aren’t working

Admit when things aren’t working

I always wanted an Aloe Vera plant so you can only guess how happy I was to buy one from a hippy chick at a farmers market. “What can I use it for?” I asked with the enthusiasm of a new Aloe Vera owner.”Burns” she […]

My body, my teacher

My body, my teacher

I was talking to a poorly friend the other day and was reminded of the poem I wrote a few years ago where the different parts of my body were talking to my Self and giving it a good telling off for the abuse that […]

He beats me up, but he does love me.

He beats me up, but he does love me.

Dear Abused & Oppressed Sister, You do know that your husband doesn’t love you, don’t you? He wouldn’t punch you in the face, if he loved you. And now that he has beaten you up and is feeling sorry for you with your black eye […]

Dealing with people who are discontent

Dealing with people who are discontent

Do you have someone in your life who is only too happy to point out the areas that are less than perfect – ‘this lasagne has a tad too much salt’, ‘that child has a snotty nose’ or ‘my, what big ears you have my […]

Dealing directly with indirect communication

Dealing directly with indirect communication

Indirect communication is all too common, springing from a desire to be polite, to avoid offending or imposing on others or a fear of expressing your own desires and having them rejected. If your beloved, respected husband asks for something indirectly it can be confusing, […]

Letting small things slide

Letting small things slide

Dr Gottman has said the majority of domestic arguments are about NOTHING. I think what he means is that if neither the husband nor wife is prepared to let things slide they will row, and the best thing you can do to keep domestic harmony […]

I ‘want’…

I ‘want’…

Do the words “I want” work for you? If the answer to that is “yes, I get what I want“ then you have failed the Aunty Thankful test. If your answer is “no, I don’t get what I want” then you have also failed the […]

The Ghost of the Past

The Ghost of the Past

Consider two very different approaches to the same problem. Mrs Smith discovered her husband was committing adultery, she had had her suspicions for several months, but her husband always denied her allegations. He even swore on the life of their child that he was faithful. […]

Bad Childhood Good Life by Dr Laura Schlessinger

Bad Childhood Good Life by Dr Laura Schlessinger

Please read this book yourself if you, or someone you know, had a difficult childhood which they’re still stuck in. These summaries encapsulate what I got from reading the book, there’s plenty more in there which may benefit you.  Some people have horrible childhoods – […]

Tips on Getting Advice from Friends

Tips on Getting Advice from Friends

(This is a re-write of the original article) After many years of seeking the advice of friends and family, I’ve made a rule to only go to people with a certain degree of experience and insight, people I can trust or people who’ve worked their […]

Cars, Socks and Newspapers

Cars, Socks and Newspapers

I had a soul-nourishing morning last week when I was invited to visit the Book Club for the Soul, in High Wycombe.  MashaAllah!  What an amazing turnout of inspiring women!  We sat in a huge circle in WISE Bookshop, with toddlers toddling round and keeping […]

A Master Practitioner!

A Master Practitioner!

This weekend my training (which started well before I became pregnant) was completed, Alhamdolillah!  I have finally become an NLP Master Practitioner!  It was a thoroughly enjoyable experience at New Oceans NLP,  Dower House, Herts, with amazing trainers and amazing team members,  and I learnt […]

Meet Judge

Meet Judge

I once read about the concept of having different parts of us in Shakti Gawain’s book, Awakenings, which I had browsed briefly whilst in my local library. I remember finding it deliciously different, and laughing over how wacky, and even absurd it sounded! She talks […]

Core Beliefs

Core Beliefs

I know of a man who recently bought a terraced house at auction, it was very cheap, a real bargain. Then he needed some money so he decided to sell the house to a friend, the friend appointed a surveyor who declared the house was […]

Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in your life

Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in your life

I recently read ‘Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in your life’ by Linda Martinez Lewi. The book was quite intense and describes narcissist so well it feels suffocating. If you have a narcissist in your life, there is a good chance you may find them […]

Going back to happy memories

Going back to happy memories

Sometimes I get caught in a cycle of negative thoughts (it’s a huge flaw, I know this) I remember one bad thing, then the next, then the next etc. During or after this vicious thought circle, it is harder than ever to be surrendered, fascinating […]

thankyou for….I appreciate it.

thankyou for….I appreciate it.

Recognise one act of service or characteristic that you like about your husband today by saying “thank-you for …. I appreciate it”. For example…. “Thank-you for listening to me, I appreciate it.” “Thank-you for letting me choose the new wallpaper, it has made a big […]

Spreading Goodwill

Spreading Goodwill

Your husband is not the only person in your life who will benefit from your appreciation. Anyone who does you a favour, however small, will like to know you’ve appreciated it. The words “thankyou for [fill in the blank] I appreciate it” cost nothing, yet […]

Communicating Wisely

Communicating Wisely

A great deal has been said and written about adult communication, boundaries, being responsible TO others and handling difficult conversations. Depending on whom you listen to there is a risk of acquiring the label “people pleaser” or “co-dependent” if you do not tackle things head […]

Not being able to practice self care due to hectic lifestyles.

Not being able to practice self care due to hectic lifestyles.

A lot of women have young children, and find it hard with sleepless nights, poorly kids, feeling unwell themselves as mums… and life seems to be a roller coaster ride. When trying to surrender, when the topic of self care comes up, a lot of […]

Mrs. Hopeless just can’t…. or can she?

Mrs. Hopeless just can’t…. or can she?

Mrs. Hopeless was busy cooking one morning whilst her baby was asleep and the other children were at school. She was excited because she was going to meet her friend for lunch at a cafe! As she mentally checked off all her chores as she […]

Mrs Hopeless Secretly Complains To Others

Mrs Hopeless Secretly Complains To Others

Mrs. Hopeless was very excited! Her husband had told her that he was going to redecorate the living room for her over the weekend. She had waited for so long for her favourite room to get wallpapered, and was so excited as she imagined how […]

Mrs. Hopeless Doesnt Know How to Relax

Mrs. Hopeless Doesnt Know How to Relax

The Case of Mrs. Hopeless. Mrs Hopeless was feeling very irritated. Her children were poorly and she was so tired of cooking and cleaning and tending to their needs –all-day-long! She wished she could have a rest, but it just didn’t seem possible. What she […]

Mrs. Hopeless Treads on His Dreams

Mrs. Hopeless Treads on His Dreams

The Case of Mrs. Hopeless. Mrs Hopeless was terribly excited as her 10th anniversary approached; she wanted to celebrate her wonderful marriage in style! When she approached her dh, he was non-committal and tried many times to the change the subject. Mrs. Hopeless had her […]

Mrs. Hopeless Misses Out on Receiving a Gift

Mrs. Hopeless Misses Out on Receiving a Gift

The Case of Mrs. Hopeless. Mrs. Hopeless went from a stroll in the park with her best friend, their children and their husbands. Whilst there, Mr. Husband carried their ds on his shoulders while she pushed the pram. Her friend’s husband, seeing that she was […]

Mrs Hopeless Gets a Washing Machine

Mrs Hopeless Gets a Washing Machine

After a really long wait, Mrs. Hopeless had succeeded in getting her husband do buy her a new washing machine. The current one was old and cranky and had even stopped washing the clothes probably. Something to do with the spin cycle, she guessed. Finally […]

Spider Story

Spider Story

What am I doing differently now I am implementing Fascinating Womanhood? An example of the old me…. Me: I just saw a massive spider in the bedroom, I want you to get rid of it please. Husband: I thought you liked spiders? I really don’t […]

Fay Leur’s Wish List

Fay Leur’s Wish List

One of the very first things Fay Leur (the new-to-surrendering-fairy) had learnt in her marriage was that Elf Husband was not a tidy elf. She had surrendered when it came to housework. Her hairier other half just could not pick his elfish socks off the […]

Broken Promises

Broken Promises

So what do you do when your husband goes back on his word – breaks his promise? Say he told you that from now on weekends would be family time – he wouldn’t take on any odd jobs, he wouldn’t spend the whole weekend with […]

Once Upon a Time….

Once Upon a Time….

Once upon a time there was a beautiful fairy called Fay Leur,she lived with Elf Husband in a cute little fairy village full of surrendered happy fairies and their adoring husbands One day, as Fay was washing the dishes in her little fairy kitchen, she started […]

Save That Special Tone Of Voice… For Him

Save That Special Tone Of Voice… For Him

The other day I phoned a friend to speak to her. Her husband picked up the phone, and we exchanged some polite pleasantries – asking about the kids, work, etc. After that, I asked to speak to my friend, so he gave her a shout… […]

Restoring Lost Dignity

Restoring Lost Dignity

Many women have come to me saying their husbands treat them like dirt… a whole plethora of disgusting actions… name calling, shoving, even.. spitting! Sigh. Dear ladies, take heart. He may be hurting you right now, but surrendering to the fact that you can only […]

The 4 Stages of Communicating

The 4 Stages of Communicating

How many times have we said something nasty and cutting to the men we love? Well, in order to preserve the intimacy and to have a masculine husband, he really does need to be respected, and what’s more, he needs to feel worthy enough for […]

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