The concept of Surrender is almost like a loaded gun! Some (misinformed) people think that to be a Surrendered Wife means to be a submissive woman who has no voice, someone who bows down to her husband at his every command, even though it may be detrimental to her well being. Well, that’s not what it means for me. Sadly, I have a few close loved ones who think that to be surrendered means to suck lemons if your life serves you lemons. How different from the saying ‘If life serves you lemons, make lemonade.’
I believe that it is not okay when someone takes away the rights you are given by God – the basic rights of respect, honour and a state free of oppression. Indeed, Allah himself has declared: “O My servants, I have forbidden oppression for Myself and have made it forbidden amongst you, so do not oppress one another.” I believe that a woman should use the voice and intellect that she has been bestowed to make healthy decisions for herself (and for her children, if she has any.) To not accept being treated like a door mat, and to speak out for justice: “O you who believe! Stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to Allah, even if it be against yourselves, your parents, and your relatives, or whether it is against the rich or the poor…” (Quran 4:135)
To surrender to the words of God, we must – men and women alike – forbid opression and speak out for justice. A surrendered human is one who looks after their own needs, so they can stand firm-footed whilst on their journey. If you have a little voice nagging you in your ear and telling you that something is not right with your living dynamics – take a good listen. Perhaps you need to take time out and look after number one (that’s you) before even think about pleasing a person who is taking away your God-given rights.