In October 2019 me and Jawad went to Konya and visited the burial place of Mevlana Rumi. In the Mevlana Museum, I saw his tasbih – huge and awe-inspiring. How many times had Allah’s name been invoked upon those beads? How many salawats had been sent upon the best of creation ﷺ? I placed my own tasbih, my beloved Aneesa, next to Mevlana’s massive tasbih and marvelled at how small she looked in comparison.
Wistful Dervish Yearnings
Inside me something stirred, a longing to be a dervish that could stay in one of the small dervish rooms, dedicating my life to worship under the tutelage of a wonderful teacher and guide. And then I smiled and took a slow sigh of contentment as the words of my teacher ran through my ears, and I heard him telling us that everything we did was an act of ibadah, and a woman who tended her to home and children could reach the closeness of her Lord through her seemingly mundane works, if only she but knew. I remembered the aphorism of the esteemed scholar and knower of Allah, Ibn Ata Illah As Sikandari, which my teacher often reminded us about:
Your desire for isolation,
even though God has put you in the world to gain a living,
is a hidden passion.
And your desire to gain a living in the world,
even though God has put you in isolation
is a comedown from lofty aspiration.
Aphorism (2)
Ibn Ata Illah tells us that if Allah has chosen us to be among the people of responsibility and seemingly mundane activities such as employment, housekeeping, parenthood, and you wish to be of the people of isolation and contemplation, then this wish is a deceptive desire of the ego (a hidden passion).
On the other hand, if Allah has chosen you to be among the people of isolation and worship and you find yourself desiring the glitter and comforts of the world, feeling as though your life would be better were you more ‘worldly’, then this desire is a cause of falling from the top to the bottom (a comedown form lofty aspiration).
The moral of the aphorism being: to be pleased with the condition that your master is keeping you. 1
Contentment
And I smiled and knew it was okay if I wasn’t a wandering dervish, and was perfectly placed where I was.
Outside the resting place of Mevalana’s teacher’s, Shaykh Shams Tabriz, there was a man with a stall selling tasbihs, from the same wood that Mevlana’s tasbih was made of. And I knew immediately I had to get one.
Not to pray on – for where would I have the time to sit with a 500 tasbih, like my elderly father-in-law has the good fortune of doing?
But to remind me and to give me solace, peace and deep contentment when I thought of What Mothers Do (When It Looks Like Nothing).
And I knew, when I looked at my new tasbih which I had I haggled for, that it was my 500 beads of striving.
Once when my older boys were young, my husband came home from work in the evening and asked how my day was, and I looked at him, with aching bones and said ‘I have no idea. It feels like have done nothing all day!’ I was astounded, as if I was so exhausted, I must have done something, right? I remember getting a pen and paper and writing a list of everything I did and realised I had done so much, even though it felt like nothing.
And thus, my new tasbih was a reminder of all the things I did. A reminder of 500 things I did, when I couldn’t sit down on my prayer mat and make dhikr of Allah 500 times.
My 500 Tasbih
Here’s to doing everything worshipfully and to all mothers, who feel like they have done nothing. Yet, they are in positions of the people of occupation, as opposed to those who Allah has chosen as the people of isolation. I present to you, the 500 acts of worship that mothers do, when it looks like nothing. I will sign out now, as the list is long, and it is all from Allah, who has power over all things. May Allah bless you and all that you do. And Allah sees and hears all.
Oh Allah, send Your peace and blessings upon the best of creation each time I…
- Wake up at 4:30 am in order to develop my course and help women
- Thank Allah for making me of the ones who can wake up early
- Wake and recite Allah’s name
- Wake and desperately utter a Salawat so that my name is written among the names of those who utter Salawat upon waking
- Stretch my aching back, my amanah, my trust, before I get out bed
- Convey salam on child number 1
- Convey salam on child number 2
- Convey salam on child number 3
- Convey salam on child number 4
- Convey salam on my husband
- Greet child number 1 with a smile as an act of charity
- Greet child number 2 with a smile as an act of charity
- Greet child number 3 with a smile as an act of charity
- Greet child number 4 with a smile as an act of charity
- Greet my husband smile as an act of charity
- Ask how child number 1 is as an emulation of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, Ar Rauf and Rahim
- Ask how child number 2 is as an emulation of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, Ar Rauf and Rahim
- Ask how child number 3 is as an emulation of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, Ar Rauf and Rahim
- Ask how child number 4 is as an emulation of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, Ar Rauf and Rahim
- Ask how my husband is as an emulation of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, Ar Rauf and Rahim
- Take down the laundry basket so that I can wash them so that my husband and I can have clean clothes
- Load dirty clothes in the washing machine so that my husband and I can have clean clothes
- Put the clothes in the dryer so that my husband and I can have clean clothes
- Hang up the clothes on hangers so that my husband and I can have clean clothes
- Peel the vegetables
- Cook the dinner
- Send Salwat upon the Messenger of Allah ﷺ whilst I cook
- Clean the dining table
- Pick up the mess around the house
- Make the house a place of hygge and comfort
- Listen to a live dars/recording
- Send messages to my loved ones and friends asking how they are
- Reply to them when they answer.
- Call my mum and ask how she is
- Call my dad and ask how he is
- Message my sibling number 1 and ask how they are
- Message my sibling number 2 and ask how they are
- Message my sibling number 3 and ask how they are
- Message my sibling number 4 and ask how they are
- Start homeschooling day with the intention to teach my daughter
- Teach my daughter to connect with the Quran
- Teach my daughter Arabic
- Teach my daughter Maths
- Teach my daughter English
- Worry about child number 1
- Worry about child number 2
- Worry about child number 3
- Worry about child number 4
- Worry about my husband
- Pray for child number 1
- Pray for child number 2
- Pray for child number 3
- Pray for child number 4
- Pray for my husband
- Thank Allah for child number 1
- Thank Allah for child number 2
- Thank Allah for child number 3
- Thank Allah for child number 4
- Thank Allah for my husband
- Remember my tasbih Aneesa, and make dhikr
- Remember my tasbih Aneesa, and send salawat
- Thank Allah for my teacher
- Thank Allah for a teacher who made me fall in love with Messenger of Allah ﷺ
- Thank Allah for the day I fell in love with Messenger of Allah ﷺ
- Thank Allah for the beautiful companions of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ
- Thank Allah for the wives of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, may Allah be pleased with them
- Thank Allah for the Messenger of Allah ﷺ
- Thank Allah for making me of the nation of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ
- Recite the Burdah
- Hear my son reciting the Burdah from heart, mashaAllah.
- Listen to nasheeds and connect to Allah
- Smile and talk to my cat
- Pick up my mess
- Pick up my husband’s mess
- Pick up my daughter’s mess
- Wash the dishes
- Unblock the kitchen sink
- Unblock the bathtub
- Fill the dishwasher
- Empty the dishwasher
- Use the cooker
- Clean the cooker
- Use the oven
- Clean the oven
- Use the microwave
- Clean the microwave
- Have a shower to keep clean
- Wear clean clothes
- Look after my hair
- Keep on top of my personal care, ensuring I look my best
- Tell my daughter to shower
- Perfume myself so that my family and angels will smell the fragrance
- Perfume my tasbih Aneesa
- Kiss my tasbih, Aneesa, and thank her for being in my life
- Thank Allah for enabling me to use my tasbih
- Reminisce the time I stopped using my tasbih and thank Allah for bringing me back
- Thank Allah for giving me my teacher, who guided me back to my tasbih
- Clean the toilet
- Clean the other toilet
- Have banter with siblings over Whatsapp
- Have banter with friends over Whatsapp
- Have banter with friends over Facebook
- Tell my daughter to get off Minecraft so she can have a balanced life
- Tell my daughter to get off Roblox so she can have a balanced life
- Help my daughter while she has a meltdown, telling me hifz is so hard
- Look out of the window and praise Al Musawwir for the trees
- Look out of the window and praise Al Musawwir for the grass
- Look out of the window and praise Al Musawwir for the sky
- Thank Allah for blessing me with the 99 names in my heart
- Thank Allah for my teacher
- Choose my words carefully when my older boys tell me things that I think are crazy
- Make a choice to act upon the words of Sayyidina Ali, who told us to raise our children for the age they are living in.
- Thank Allah for my teacher
- Listen to Sami Yusuf, and reflect on how I would do anything for Allah, and His Messenger ﷺ
- Send Salawat upon the best of creation ﷺ
- Empty the food bin
- Empty the plastics
- Empty the paper bin
- Empty the waste bin
- Empty the bathroom bin
- Each time the rubbish gets collected
- Each time the recycling gets collected
- Each time the grass gets collected
- Clean the sink
- Clean the bathtub
- Open the curtains in the morning to bring light into the room
- Thank Allah for light
- Draw the curtains in the evening to uphold my family’s privacy
- Thank Allah for the night
- Listen to my daughter tell me very interesting things
- Help my daughter through friendship problems
- Clear the kitchen
- Wipe down the counters
- Pray Fajr
- Pray Dhuhr
- Pray Asr
- Pray Maghrib
- Pray Isha
- Reply to ladies in need
- Coach a Cherished Muslimah
- Thank Allah for giving me the ability coach
- Have a cup a coffee, to keep me going
- Thank Allah for my coffee machine
- Thank Allah for my husband, who got me the coffee machine
- Send my husband a message, thanking him for my coffee machine
- Have a cup of tea, to keep me going
- Have a cup a Nescafe gold, to keep me going
- Thank Allah for giving me an instant coffee that I actually like
- Have a nap, to rest
- Switch on my electric blanket so I can fall asleep quickly and not have cold feet
- Thank Allah for my electric blanket
- Work on my course, to help women
- Reply to a sister who wants to connect
- Sing a Qasida to my son’s drumming
- Thank Allah for my sons drumming
- Drum on my desk to a nasheed I’m listening to
- Thank Allah for giving my son the gift of playing the daff, and reciting qasa’id.
- Thank Allah for my teacher, he encouraged my son
- Reflect on Sami’s Yusuf nasheed ‘Shine.’
- Thank Allah for giving me the persistence to write my book
- Thank Allah for not allowing me to delete my book each time I had an argument with my husband
- Thank Allah for all the difficult times I have been through in my family
- Take a deep sigh as I reflect on how each problem helped me to become stronger
- Thank Allah for New Oceans NLP, and the amazing training weekends I had there
- Thank Allah for the hypnosis weekends where I realised I could take the lessons from all my difficult times and leave the bad memories behind
- Thank Allah for my husband, my companion on my journey
- Thank Allah for giving us the ability to split downstairs into two homes, so my mother in law and I could live peacefully and happily together.
- Thank Allah for making me stubborn enough to insist on taboo things
- Thank Allah for helping me to resurrect my womanhood
- Thank Allah for my teacher
- Send Salwat upon the best of creation ﷺ
- Look out of the window and thank Al Musawwir for creating this world for me
- Read a page of the Quran
- Read some tafsir on Quran Hive on my iPad
- Thank Allah for Quran hive
- Thank Allah for my iPad
- Thank Allah for kids who gave me my iPad
- Thank Allah for child number 1
- Thank Allah for child number 2
- Thank Allah for child number 3
- Thank Allah for child number 4
- Thank Allah for three sons
- Thank Allah for my daughter
- Thank Allah for the healing that my daughter brought with her
- Think of the past, and how hard it was, and mashaAllah, how things have worked out
- Thank Al Latif for bringing things about so subtly.
- Thank Allah for blessing me with the 99 names in my heart
- Thank Allah for my teacher
- Speak to my son when he comes down and connect with him
- Encourage him in his dreams and plans
- Support him in his struggles
- Speak to my other son when he comes down and connect with him
- Encourage him in his dreams and plans
- Support him in his struggles
- Have tea with my husband
- Have banter with my husband
- Have banter with children number 1
- Have banter with children number 2
- Have banter with children number 3
- Take my daughter swimming
- Fill the car with petrol
- Thank Allah for a car
- Thank Allah for a Volkswagen Golf
- Thank Allah that I have automatic cruise control in my car
- Jumpstart the car if it breaks down
- Use my portable car jump-starter
- Listen to something uplifting in my car
- Take my daughter to her gymnastics class
- Take my daughter to her Quran class
- Go to my Arabic class
- Do my Arabic homework
- Struggle with Arabic
- Read the Quran and recognise words I have learnt while studying Arabic
- Recite the Quran in a beautiful voice
- Read the Quran in Arabic
- Thank Allah for allowing me to learn Arabic
- Send a message to my class on the Arabic Level 6 WhatsApp group, thanking my teacher.
- Intend on teaching Hannah Arabic
- Go and have a take away with my daughter, to keep her spirits up and to encourage her
- Go and buy the groceries
- Recite the prayer for travelling, putting my hope in Allah and Asking Him to grant me control over my car.
- Fill the car with petrol
- Remember to make dhikr whilst driving, with Aneesa as my companion
- Sit, exhausted, resting
- Thank Allah for my son who always gets my hot water bottles for me
- Watch Ertugrul in the evening with my husband and daughter
- Thank Allah for Etrugrul, and how he helped the Muslim’s establish themselves
- Thank Allah for warrior men and women
- Thank Allah Sh Muhiy ud Din Ibn Arabi
- Thank Allah for my teacher
- Add things to google calendar in order to be organised
- Thank Allah for making me organised and able to fit everything in
- Thank Allah for the apps that make my life easier
- Connect with friends and soul mates
- Thank Allah for my friends and soul mates
- Send a message to those who love the Messenger of Allah ﷺ and ask how they are
- Beg Allah to keep me with the lovers of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ
- Yearn to be with the Messenger of Allah ﷺ
- Thank Allah for my teacher who showed me the path to love
- Pick up Aneesa, kiss her, and move her beads in remembrance
- Reprimand child number 1
- Reprimand child number 2
- Reprimand child number 3
- Reprimand child number 4
- Argue with my husband
- Make up with my husband
- Say sorry to my husband
- Give extra thanks when he says sorry to me!
- Say thank you to child number 1
- Say thank you to child number 2
- Say thank you to child number 3
- Say thank you to child number 4
- Say thank you to my husband
- Light a romantic candle in our bedroom
- Go out for dinner with my husband
- Sit and drink tea with my husband
- Drink tea made by my husband
- Eat food cooked by my husband
- Eat food cooked by child number 1
- Eat food cooked by child number 2
- Eat food cooked by child number 3
- Eat food cooked by child number 4
- Use the whiteboard
- Read a book
- Think about how many books I have read
- Sit at my desk to blog
- Write a blog article
- Thank Allah for giving me the ability to write a book
- Thank Allah for giving me the ability to write a companion workbook
- Embrace the mess
- Clear the mess
- Thank Allah when the evening lights come on via timer
- Take time out when a Cherished Muslimah sends a message
- Listen to the birds chirping and thank Allah for them.
- Pass my son’s rooms and pray for them
- Pray that Allah makes them the coolness to my eyes.
- Thank Allah for making them the coolness of my eyes
- Thank Allah for hot water
- Thank Allah for the dishwasher
- Thank Allah for the tumble dryer
- Thank Allah for the steam iron
- Thank Allah for clothes to iron
- Teach my boys how to iron
- Teach my boys how to buy groceries
- Teach my boys how to load the washing machine
- Teach my boys how to cook a meal
- Teach my boys how to peel onions
- Teach my boys how to peel eggs
- Teach my boys how to peel potatoes
- Teach my boys how to form a kebab
- Thank Allah that my children know how to iron
- Thank Allah that my children know how to buy groceries
- Thank Allah that my children know how to load the washing machine
- Thank Allah that my children know how to cook a meal
- Thank Allah that my children know how to peel onions
- Thank Allah that my children know how to peel eggs
- Thank Allah that my children know how to peel potatoes
- Thank Allah that my children know how to form a kebab
- Read tasbih Fatimah when things get hard
- Reflect on how hard the family of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ had it.
- Thank Allah for the family of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon them
- Send salawat
- Open the fridge to take some food out
- Open the freezer to take some food out
- Buy eggs
- Put eggs into the egg basket
- Make my own nut mix
- Ride my bike
- For all the teachers I have ever studied with end benefitted from
- For all of my children’s teachers
- For Ha Meem Foundation
- Sit down at my prayermat
- Fast during Ramadan
- Fast out of Ramadan
- Waking for suhoor
- Eating iftar
- Eating iftar as a family during Ramadan
- Decorating the house for Ramadan
- Decorating the house for Eid
- Wear my hijab
- Buy my hijabs
- Buy my modest outerwear
- Buy beautiful clothes to wear at home
- Purge my wardrobe
- Help a friend in need
- Help to lift the morale of Cherished Muslimahs
- Help to lift the morale of child number 1
- Help to lift the morale of child number 2
- Help to lift the morale of child number 3
- Help to lift the morale of child number 4
- Help to lift the morale of my husband
- Help to lift the morale of my siblings
- Help to lift the morale of my friends
- Learn something new from my teacher
- Mow the lawn
- Clear out the attic
- Clear out the shed
- Clear out the freezer
- Have left-overs day
- Cook a new meal
- Peel an onion
- Peel a carrot
- Peel some garlic
- Peel some ginger
- Chop an onion
- Chop a carrot
- Chop some garlic
- Chop some ginger
- Use my food processor
- Use my blender
- Use my juicer
- Soak a pan
- Wash a pan
- Sweep the front driveway
- Clear the veranda
- Recite a qasida
- Hear a new qasida
- Read the English translation of a qasida
- Read a mawlid in English
- Find a new mawlid in English
- Find a good English translation of something I have read in Arabic
- Buy well written Islamic material for my daughter
- Hear a new nasheed that has been sung
- Send my salams to Madina ﷺ
- Listen to the King of Madina by Zain Bikha
- Listen to women praising the Messenger of Allah ﷺ
- Reach the month of Rabbi al Awwal
- Attend a mawlid
- Sit at the front row of a dars
- Ask a scholar a question
- Study with a scholar
- Hoover my home
- Empty the hoover
- Remove the hair from the roller bar of the hoover
- Steam mop my kitchen
- Steam mop my bathroom
- Thank Allah for my steam mop
- Use a napkin
- Wash the napkins
- Iron the napkins
- Place the napkins in the napkin holder on the dining table
- Set the dining table
- Dress the dining table with a table cloth and runner
- Light dinner candles
- Invite family over for dinner
- Invite friends over for dinner
- Have a one-dish party with family
- Have a one-dish party with friends
- Cook biryani
- Buy biryani
- Eat biryani
- Cook lasagne
- Eat lasagne
- Bake chocolate cake
- Make banoffee pie
- Make a trifle
- Bake cupcakes
- Leaving everything to attend a dars outside the home
- Reciting the 99 names of Allah off by heart
- Reflecting on Allah’s 99 names
- Wearing perfume
- Owning beautiful perfume
- Meet my beautiful friends
- Have a friend visit me
- Remember my hajj
- Remember the umrah I did with the family
- Remember the umrah I did with my mum
- Eat watermelon
- Buy watermelon
- Eat dates
- Buy dates
- Eat mangos
- Buy lychees
- Buy bukhoor
- Burn Bukhoor
- Smell Bukhoor
- Sit in the garden
- Thank Allah for my garden
- Smell the roses in my garden and reflect on Allah’s love and beauty
- Thank Allah for my mind and intellect
- Thank Allah for my shoulders
- Thank Allah for my knees
- Thank Allah for my toes
- Thank Allah for my eyes
- Thank Allah for my ears
- Thank Allah for my nose
- Thank Allah for my mouth
- Thank Allah for nursery rhymes
- Thank Allah for giving me the ability to perform supererogatory acts of worship
- Thank Allah for my hands with which I strike
- Thank Allah for my feet with which I walk
- Use my mind to worship Allah
- Use my eyes to worship Allah
- Use my ears to worship Allah
- Use my tongue to worship Allah
- Am patient when faced with fear
- Am patient when faced with hunger
- Am patient when faced with loss of property
- Am patient when faced with loss of lives
- Am patient when faced with loss of capital
- Feel fatigued
- Experience illness
- Feel sorrow
- Feel sadness
- Feel hurt
- Experience distress
- Have painful shoulders from working so much
- Have a painful back from working so much
- Have carpel tunnel syndrome from spending so much time working on the computer
- Have a painful menstruation
- Experienced constant and extreme sickness when pregnant with child number 1
- Experienced constant and extreme sickness when pregnant with child number 2
- Experienced constant and extreme sickness when pregnant with child number 3
- Experienced constant and extreme sickness when pregnant with child number 4
- Experienced childbirth for child number 1
- Experienced childbirth for child number 2
- Experienced childbirth for child number 3
- Experienced childbirth for child number 4
- Thank Allah for being able to look at the stars with my eyes, without glasses
- Thank Allah for my successful laser eye surgery after having worn glasses for 30 years
- Had sleepless nights due to young children
- Tended to the needs of my feverish children
- Tended to my crying babies
- Changed my babies’ nappies
- Cleaned my children’s vomit
- Wiped my children’s dirty bottoms
- Cleaned the wee of my young children from their beds
- Cleaned the wee of my young children from my bed
- Cleaned the wee of my young children from the carpet
- Use my computer
- Use my phone
- Use my laptop
- Use my iPad
- Use my microphone
- Use two monitors
- Connect to the wifi
- Thank Allah for my hot water bottle
- Thank Allah for my woolly socks
- Thank Allah for my fingerless cashmere turtledoves gloves that keep my fingers warm while I type on a winter’s day
- Emulate the qualities of my mum
- Emulate the qualities of my dad
- Pray for my mum
- Pray for my dad
- Pray for my teachers
- Thank Allah for Our Lady Asiya, may Allah be pleased with her
- Thank Allah for Our Lady Maryam, may Allah be pleased with her
- Thank Allah for Our Lady Fatimah, may Allah be pleased with her
- Thank Allah for Our Lady Khadeeja, may Allah be pleased with her
- Thank Allah for Our Lady Aminah, may Allah be pleased with her
- Thank Allah for Our Master Abdullah, may Allah be pleased with him
- Thank Allah for Our Master Abdul Muttalib, may Allah be pleased with him
- Strive to emulate all the inspiring examples left by all the great women and men of the past
- Strive to emulate the Messenger of Allah ﷺ
- Yearn to be with the Messenger of Allah ﷺ in the hereafter
- Yearn to see the Messenger of Allah ﷺ in my dreams
- Ask Allah for forgiveness for all of my sins
- Thank Allah for everything I have
- Ask Allah to make my progeny of the righteous ones
- Ask Allah to make my progeny of the lovers of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ
- Strive to worship Allah as though I see Him ﷻ
Thanks for getting to the bottom – as you can see, there is a lot more than meets the eye in the day of an average mother and housewife.
May Allah accept it all as worship!
Notes:
- The Book of Wisdoms, Commentary by Sh. Abdullah Gangohi[↩]
