A Cherished Ramadan

For Men & Women 

With our beloved Ramadan around the corner, here are some tips on how we can manifest the four traits in this blessed month.

Leadership

Enter this month purposefully, carving out time for your priorities and delegating fairly among the family.

1. Make a daily intention – each morning when you make your intention to fast, also make another intention: to intend each action of the day to be an act of worship:
   • your sleeping,
   • cooking,
   • serving,
   • resting,
   • supporting your family while they fast.
2. Get Quran ready – Ramadan is the month of the Quran, and as we are in the COVID-19 lockdown, use this month to retreat and devote a part of your day to the Quran and remembrance.

• Create a niche for yourself in your home,
• Wash and perfume your prayer mat,
• Get your ‘ittar out and perfume your hands before picking up your Quran and tasbih – they will be perfumed for weeks later!

3. A month of delegation – Anticipate your approaching routines, and hold a family meeting, delegating roles fairly amongst your loved ones.

Love

Create a loving Ramadan by being grateful, accepting help, creating ease for yourself and loving others in the ways they want and need.

1. Say thank you! Be aware of everyone’s struggle this month and appreciate their efforts.
   • Appreciate even the smallest acts of love. If your spouse cooks, does the shopping, does the laundry, mows the lawn – thank them! One of the most beautiful things about gratitude is that it makes the one being thanked feel appreciated and acknowledged, and makes them inclined to give more!

If you express gratitude, I shall certainly give you more,
Ibraheem (14:7)

1. • Open your heart to receive love from others: let them know what you want, ask for help and allow them to help you in whichever ways they offer. If your husband asks if you need help at iftar time, smile, say yes and thank him, even if you feel he should be helping you anyway! If your daughter asks if she can help with the cooking, welcome her, despite any mess she may make.
2. Think simplicity
   • Take time out for yourself to rest/sleep when you are tired,
   • Have a spiritual i’tekaf/retreat from social media
   • Create ease for yourself and your family by making simple food
3. How can I love thee? Let me count the ways… See how you can give love this month. Remember, Al-Musawwir created each of us uniquely. Look at each of your loved one’s needs and see which love language use to brighten their day.
   • Perhaps someone needs to rest, and you can ask someone else to take their duties.
   • Perhaps you can help my setting/clearing the table at iftar/suhoor.
   • Perhaps you can take over some days of cooking.
   • Maybe your young child wants to play with you – spend some quality time with them.

Wisdom

Let your inner wisdom come out this month by choosing wise words, using the month as an opportunity to heal through prayer, using your time wisely.

1. A month of communication – when we are fasting, we feel tired, hungry, weak – and it is only natural to feel low. Rather than becoming cranky and irritable, allow yourself to feel what you feel.
   • Ask for help
   • Say no when you are tired
   • Let others know how you are feeling and what you need
2. A month of healing – choose one thing you want to let go of this month and focus on it, purposefully and prayerfully. Get out your journal and write about it and speak to someone who can help you. Make a resolve to overcome this struggle and pray for it:
   • at tahajjud time
   • while fasting
   • when breaking the fast
   • on the nights of power

Be certain that Allah will answer your prayers, ¹ and you have the perfect opportunity to pray to Him ﷻ during these blessed days

3. It’s fasting season – Know this month is one of the biggest blessings in your life. Welcome the month by:
   • Putting other things on the back burner, and make the most of the month
   • Make your Ramadan routines flexible
   • Block off your calendar every Friday and on the final ten nights
   • On the nights you will be sleeping late, plan to sleep in later the next day

Justice

Allow this month to be one where everyone’s needs are met, so they can all do Ramadan their way, including you!

1. Be respectful of the ways other’s want to worship this month: they may want to recite Quran, give charity, help out in the home. Help them to connect each of their actions as an act of ibadah so they spend the month purposefully.
2. Respect your own limits – let your family know how you will be spending your time this month, give your body it’s rights by not taking on too much and let others know you feel if their actions affect you negatively.
3. Be balanced – do yourself justice by reaping the benefits of this month and making the most of it
   • If you are someone who tends to does too much – don’t! Physical or mental exhaustion will lead you to become preoccupied and distracted. Make a list of your top three priorities for the day and work on doing only them. Once they are done, switch off and enjoy the rest of your Ramadan-day.
   • If you are someone who tends to does too little – it’s time to get active! Make a list of your top three priorities for the day and work through them, celebrating each success.

May Allah give you the wisdom to lead your family lovingly, so that everyone’s needs are met this Ramadan!

1. Call on Allah while having absolute certainty that He will answer.
   Tirmidhi (3479)[↩]