Communication

Welcome Winter! (Morning Pages from 30th November 2020) Goodbye Autumn, it was lovely to have you, Lovely to see the oranges, reds and russets, Lovely to let go of the non-vitals, To complete the things we started, So we can tick ✅ our way into […]

I want to tell you about some exciting upcoming events!  Lots of exciting news… a masterclass, weekly live, special offers and book launch!   Communication Masterclass I had some valuable feedback over the last few months regarding the Cherished Seasons course. Ladies told me that […]

Communicating with others is always easier when both people are in rapport with one another.  It makes the whole process easier. Rapport [raˈpôr, rəˈpôr] (Noun) a close and harmonious relationship in which the people or groups concerned understand each other’s feelings or ideas and communicate […]

For Men & Women  Out with the old? Let’s face it:  our lives are not like those of our parents and we need a new template that defines a successful marriage.  My father, may Allah protect him and grant him health (say Ameen, please), had […]

Hold On To Good Habits It has never been a more important time to have a loving and strong marriage. During this time of difficulty, hold on to your good habits so you and your spouse can be a source of strength and peace for […]

Somebody recently asked me what had happened to the booklist I had online, which I realised had inadvertently gotten lost – what better an opportunity to compile another one.  Here, my cherished readers, are my 99 best-loved books!  I love all of these books for […]

You may be feeling tearful because you haven’t slept all night, and the morning has arrived so quickly. You may be distressed because your brother’s marriage is falling apart. You may be bitter and resentful because you have exhausted your energy levels for the day […]

Homeschooling has brought its own challenges with housework and cooking, so delegation has been the key. But what about when family members fall short and don’t do their bit? How can we remind without blowing up?

In my journey through the world of self-help books I came across a scientist who took a glass of water and said “love, love, love” into it. He then watered a cohort of cress seeds with it. At the same time he took a glass […]

Do you have someone in your life who is only too happy to point out the areas that are less than perfect – ‘this lasagne has a tad too much salt’, ‘that child has a snotty nose’ or ‘My, what big ears you have my […]

Indirect communication is all too common, springing from a desire to be polite, to avoid offending or imposing on others or a fear of expressing your own desires and having them rejected. If your beloved, respected husband asks for something indirectly it can be confusing, […]

Dr Gottman has said the majority of domestic arguments are about NOTHING. I think what he means is that if neither the husband nor wife is prepared to let things slide they will row, and the best thing you can do to keep domestic harmony […]

Do the words “I want” work for you? If the answer to that is “yes, I get what I want“ then you have failed the Aunty Thankful test. If your answer is “no, I don’t get what I want” then you have also failed the […]

I had a soul-nourishing morning last week when I was invited to visit the Book Club for the Soul, in High Wycombe.  MashaAllah!  What an amazing turnout of inspiring women!  We sat in a huge circle in WISE Bookshop, with toddlers toddling round and keeping […]

Recognise one act of service or characteristic that you like about your husband today by saying “thank-you for …. I appreciate it”. For example…. “Thank-you for listening to me, I appreciate it.” “Thank-you for letting me choose the new wallpaper, it has made a big […]

Your husband is not the only person in your life who will benefit from your appreciation. Anyone who does you a favour, however small, will like to know you’ve appreciated it. The words “thankyou for [fill in the blank] I appreciate it” cost nothing, yet […]

A great deal has been said and written about adult communication, boundaries, being responsible TO others and handling difficult conversations. Depending on whom you listen to there is a risk of acquiring the label “people pleaser” or “co-dependent” if you do not tackle things head […]

A lot of women have young children, and find it hard with sleepless nights, poorly kids, feeling unwell themselves as mums… and life seems to be a roller coaster ride. When trying to surrender, when the topic of self care comes up, a lot of […]

What am I doing differently now I am implementing Fascinating Womanhood? An example of the old me…. Me: I just saw a massive spider in the bedroom, I want you to get rid of it please. Husband: I thought you liked spiders? I really don’t […]

One of the very first things Fay Leur (the new-to-surrendering-fairy) had learnt in her marriage was that Elf Husband was not a tidy elf. She had surrendered when it came to housework. Her hairier other half just could not pick his elfish socks off the […]

So what do you do when your husband goes back on his word – breaks his promise? Say he told you that from now on weekends would be family time – he wouldn’t take on any odd jobs, he wouldn’t spend the whole weekend with […]

Once upon a time there was a beautiful fairy called Fay Leur,she lived with Elf Husband in a cute little fairy village full of surrendered happy fairies and their adoring husbands One day, as Fay was washing the dishes in her little fairy kitchen, she started […]

The other day I phoned a friend to speak to her. Her husband picked up the phone, and we exchanged some polite pleasantries – asking about the kids, work, etc. After that, I asked to speak to my friend, so he gave her a shout… […]

Many women have come to me saying their husbands treat them like dirt… a whole plethora of disgusting actions… name calling, shoving, even.. spitting! Sigh. Dear ladies, take heart. He may be hurting you right now, but surrendering to the fact that you can only […]

How many times have we said something nasty and cutting to the men we love? Well, in order to preserve the intimacy and to have a masculine husband, he really does need to be respected, and what’s more, he needs to feel worthy enough for […]