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Self-Respect

The Broken Record

by
Sara
-
February 18, 2011

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The Broken Record
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Darling,
I’m sorry, I can’t.
I really want to help,
But in this case, I’m sorry,
I can’t.

It’s happened again.
Last time I told you,
Remember, I told you?
And the time before that,
I told you then also.
Its the third time its happened,
Three is the Sunnah!
Now its the last time,
I can’t do this again.

I can’t deal with this,
Please,
Suggest a solution.
Any solution!
Let’s be creative,
Something must give,
And it can’t be me!

I want to be helpful.
I want to be there for
You, and your parents,
Your siblings, your friends,
I want to do whatever
I can to make you delighted!
But,
Dearest, my darling,
Forgive me,
But this time, I can’t.

Baby, could we talk?
I’m sorry,
You’ll think that
I’m a broken record!
But sweetie,
You know that issue
That always seems to
Creep and fester
Into the conversations we have
Is back again, sorry!
I’m sorry,
But once again,
We need to talk.

I know that
You’d rather
Not talk about it.
I know it disturbs you.
Its so hard when
You know that
There’s no clear cut,
Easy
Solution.
But honey, this issue
Is very important,
Of highest importance
To the well being
Of my very soul!

Its a difficult time,
When I’m in this situation.
Things aren’t working
In these conditions.
We need a solution,
A win-win solution!
Please,
Suggest a solution,
Any solution!
Let’s be creative,
Something must give,
And it can’t be me!

I can’t continue in this
Fashion,
I’ve reach my limit,
I’m sorry, I can’t.
I really want to help,
But in this case, I’m sorry,
I can’t.

‘What’s the matter?’
You’re asking.
What’s the matter?
Don’t you see my sad face?
Don’t you notice my smile,
Has vanished to Venus?
Yet still you ask me,
What’s the matter?
Oh darling I’m sorry.
Your right,
Something is up.
You’re so sweet to notice
I’m not my usual,
Happy, carefree self.
Something is the matter.
And I regret you’ll be
Disappointed.
Yet,
Its the same old
Contention,
Its the same old problem,
Which hasn’t gone away,
Because it has not been fixed.
Yet life does continue,
Even with problems,
Even with issues,
Which remain unresolved.

Yet, honey,
The truth is,
This is close to my heart.
And till you help me to
Find a solution,
Any, working solution!
Like this I’ll remain.

You may find me distant,
You may find me repetitive,
But till this issue is
Sorted,
You’ll not find me
Smiling.
Yet I will satisfy my own needs,
Through rest and seclusion,
Through friends and reflection.
But dear, when it comes to
This problem I’m having,
I can’t continue in this
Fashion,
I’ve reach my limit,
I’m sorry, I can’t.

So, you can go your way,
And I will go mine.
You won’t find me
Eager
To join in your happiness,
Yet you are free to do
What you want to do
Just let me be me,
And let me have peace.

I have my own limits,
My life and desires,
And they are not being respected.
I must be
Respected.
So until we can find a
Solution,
Any, working solution,
I’ll wait here for you,
Patiently.
Happy doing my own things.
And if you ever decide,
To sort this out for me,
You’ll find me happy,
Smiling and chirpy.
Walking beside you,
As we both dreamt to.
Yet until this matter is
Satisfactorily
Resolved,
Until then, I’m sorry
I can’t.

by Sara Malik

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